I want to appologize for not writing in a long time.  I have been feeling down for a while now.  My meds are under control and things are getting better.  Therefore, I felt the post below would be appropriate.

I want my life back in more ways than one without illness, fear and pain.
I want to be able to walk fast, skip and run. To be able to walk up the stairs without failing would be grand. No more bruises, scraped knees or hurt ankles would make me smile again.
Multi-tasking has left my life. Now I understand that saying “can’t chew gum or walk at the same time”.
Where have my brain cells gone? Their sure not up there anymore. To be able to say words when I’m talking and say them correctly without a slur.
I want my life back to be able to drive and go places to see the world. Becoming a home body more and more everyday is making me feel like I’m closing out the ones so dear to me.
Cooking used to be so enjoyable now it’s a disaster in reality. No more 3 course meals for you; only mac and cheese will do.
I love to write, but these fingers now just don’t want to type. Oh, what to do?  Just take it slow. You’ll get those words on paper for sure. It just might take a day or two.
I want my life back in more ways than one without illness, fear and pain.

A friend with Parkinson's disease

I’m going to talk a lot

So I don’t lose my voice

I’m going to sing LOUD

Or maybe I should get lessons first

I’m going to dance often

So my legs don’t go weak

I’m going to eat right

To make my bones strong

I’m going to make lots of friends

So I can help them to understand

The path they are to make

I will talk with them so their voices don’t go soft

I will sing LOUD with them and we won’t care how bad we sound

I’m going to dance with my new friends

So their legs won’t go weak

Eating often together is the thing to keep our bones healthy and strong

I will take this journey with my friends and we will have plenty of fun

So won’t you be my friend?

Great News

All my testing that was being done for cancer have come out negative.  Yay Me!  More testing in a year to see what that M-spike is doing.

Thanks for all your concerns.

My Life with Parkinson's disease: Agenda

My Life with Parkinson's disease: Agenda: You wake up before the crack of dawn Just to take your meds so your feet will hit the ground You wait 30 minutes for them to kick in Then yo...

Agenda

You wake up before the crack of dawn

Just to take your meds so your feet will hit the ground

You wait 30 minutes for them to kick in

Then you make your way out of the bed

You slowly walk towards the kitchen

Just to trip over one more toy

One more bruise and one more cut is fine with you

You look at your agenda to see what there is to do

You look at your agenda again

Just to make sure there is not a client name and time

Then you realize, that you haven’t had any appointments like that in such a long time

You look at your agenda and wonder, what you are to do?

Nowhere to run or be there by 9

There is nothing that has to get done

No one to see or nowhere to go

Could it be true, that there is nothing to do?

Your agenda is filled with doctor’s appointments and times to take your meds.

You still wake up before the crack of dawn

And wonder what to do?

You make your way to the porch to listen to the birds and other animals too

Watch the sunrise; and the beauty around and wonder what you will do next

You’ve finished reading one hundred books!

You wake up again before the crack of dawn

Wondering what to do

Could it be true, there is nothing to do?

Just sit back, relax and enjoy this journey

Enjoy the beauty of the sunrise and sunset

Watch the planes and the birds fly by

Smell the flowers and feel the breeze

Call on a friend and have them over to enjoy the beauty that surrounds you daily

Could it be that this is on your agenda?

Wake up before the crack of dawn

Just to watch the sunrise

And end the day with the sunset

That’s what is on my agenda!

Hugs!

Give me a hug for it will make me feel better.

Time will heal and a hug will make it go faster.

It will make me forget the pain I’m in and that would be great to forget for one day.

Hugs make you smile and I want to smile for hours.

It’s amazing how a hug can make you feel.

Pull me close and put your arms around me.

Hug me so softly like it’s never going to end

For I need a hug to make me feel better.

Testing, Testing, & more testing

As you know, I am on disability leave and 99% of the time I am inside my home.  On New Years Eve, my husband convinced me to go over to a friends’ house for a party.  I thought it might be good for me to get out, so I didn’t hesitate too much.  I actually had a nice time and even played a little poker.  As I was sitting there, I thought to myself “it’s about midnight and I am with friends, laughing and playing cards.  What a great way to start the New Year.  I hope this means my year will be great and better than 2011.”

During the month of January, I have endured many tests.  I will have either been through lab work or to visit a doctor 10 times.  Yes, 10 times in 31 days.  Okay, I’m not playing and laughing anymore.  My arms have at least been stuck with needles 5 times (great nurses – no marks at all).  I couldn’t tell you how many tubes of blood, I lost count at 8.  I’ve been through general surgery (not liposuction or breast enlargement either).  Bone Marrow and fat pad biopsies where my general surgeries for the month. 

Bone marrow biopsy was done on a Thursday.  Didn’t know much about one so I asked the doctor on a scale of 1 to 10, how much pain should I expect?  He said 5.  I can tolerate pain, so I didn’t think that was too bad.  On that Thursday, I got prepped for the biopsy; however, I would stay awake during this procedure.  I felt the needle go into my back and then felt some pressure of the drilling into my bone.  The worst part was the removal of the fluid.  So which part was a 5?  I think he was talking about the needle part or I’m a wimp.  Breathing and counting helped me make it through this procedure without screaming my head off or knocking his off.  I did get some zanex, but it didn’t take affect until I was about to leave and it made me sleep for 2 days.  I think that is so you can forget about the pain.

My next biopsy was on the following Monday and it was considered general surgery.  They put me to sleep then cut a small slit in my abdomen and cut out a piece of fat.  I’m not sure why they couldn’t just go ahead and take a pound or two.  When I woke up I felt fine.  Doctor said to take Vicodin for pain and do it before the pain gets too bad.  He didn’t say it causes nausea and hot flashes and I mean dripping wet hot flashes.  Plus, all the adventures I took when I was sleeping.  I have now found out among many things, that I can fly, get scared at battle, and that snoring can sound like a helicopter. 

I couldn’t find the humor in this while I was going through it, but looking back makes me laugh at what a wimp I can really be at times. 

So now I will pick myself back up and as my daughter says that I am, I will be strong and not let my struggles get to me.